17 February 2009

What is to be done

It is interesting to look back at my first post, the one where I said "I am stunned at how perfectly my life is turning out." How optimistic I was. And then February happened. And then...

- I broke up with boyfriend. Sad and heart-wrenching. I ended up bawling at work the next day.
- I went to the doctor the next morning and got poked and prodded and shots in both arms and blood work and first ever woman check up.
- I went out with my sweet married friends and my English lit friend and got hit on by a random stranger while the boys were in the bathroom. Then the waitress thought English lit boy and I were together because she could "sense the chemistry." There's no chemistry.
- I got asked out to the movies by a boy 6 days after I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm still ignoring it.
- My -ex-boyfriend thought we were back together after the first time I talked to him since the break-up and me saying "We can be yoga buddies with no committment" meant boy-girl again.
- My doctor called me at work and told me the worst news possible. I bawled at work again and this time got sent home.
- I called and told my mom the news and she says she loves me even though I've made so many mistakes. I believe her, finally.
- A guy friend at work bought me an orchid because I've had such a crappy month, bawling numerous times a week at work. My pretty new flower is named Penelope, like the cute movie named the same thing Lo and I watched last night. It was a fun and silly break from my overbearing life.
I have been reading a fantastic novel by Julia Alvarez, called In the Time of the Butterflies.
I have been writing poetry again and want to write more every waking moment.
I have been taking millions of naps and sleeping all the time. Does that mean I am depressed or am just overworked by life?
I am hopefully getting a new and bigger bed on Friday. I really hope this comes through.
I finally bought a yoga mat, it is beautiful.

Maybe I'll read some poetry, write some poetry, and then go to bed. My dream life is a lot more pleasing these days than my waking life.

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