22 April 2009

You have a library card, now use it!

First of all, Happy Earth Day. I hope you are all making choices in your lives to live more "green," and not because its trendy, but because you care a little extra.
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I find it ironic that recently my most enlightened times of the day are at night, after everything is closed, like the library. Or after the sun goes down, so I can't go outside and get some Vitamin D. I have been working really strange schedules recently, which unfortunately includes working on my days off...ugh. But still, I find no time for things I really love. I read maybe 20 minutes a day, definitely not enough. I sleep 12 hours a day, definitely too much, but that I blame on my new wonderful bed. I just seemed to have side-tracked somewhere and have forgotten my priorities. I really appreciated that about school. The activity of my brain made me so much more motivated to do not only school work but all kinds of other stimulating things. I have written two poems since last May. That is so unbelievably heartbreaking to me. I love writing and writing does such beneficial things to my mental state. It is such a subconscious letting go and release.
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My sweet friend just suggested today to practice "raw" eating or perhaps body cleansing and fasting for a bit. Just to kind of jolt our bodies back to health and wellness. I am really excited about it because recently my body image has been consuming my thoughts unnecessarily. It's almost summer so I guess that stimulates this kind of thought. I also started taking birth control a couple months ago and its definitely affecting my body, growing things and changing moods and, hormones are just crazy to your body. Regardless, I have also been slacking on eating a well-balanced diet and I have been eating out a ton. So my friend's suggestion comes at a perfect time. It's spring, I've planted my garden, I'm getting new roommates that are old friends, I am awaiting a summer of love and sun, so why not start off my body in the best way possible? Clean it up, clear it out and let it live to its fullest without my having to encourage it. So perhaps I will go to the library tomorrow and find a book on cleansing detoxes and read it outside in the sun.
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I also miss writing letters. I used to be so good at it. I should also get some poetry books from the library. They might inspire me.
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I think I just had an epiphany. I always have to talk about something for awhile before I understand it. Perhaps I have been letting my brain be trapped by my surroundings. I own so many books, I feel like I have to read all of them before I am allowed to go the library and get different ones. And I am moving soon, so my mindset is "Don't settle here, don't let your hair down yet and don't sink your roots in." So instead I've just settled for letting myself stagnate in this hot little apartment that I love, but am trapped by. Even now that I have a car, the only places I go are work, post office, Cait and Matt's. Not to the mountains, not to a river or lake, not to a coffee shop to just read and drink tea, not to the library.
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Too bad I can't go to the library right now. Bummer.
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Oh and I saw this beautiful burnt orange purse the other day that I want so so badly. I can't stop thinking about it. I think I'll buy that tomorrow too. :)

1 comment:

claire.vandewa said...

I like this post. I feel like it was a very productive post that allowed you to see yourself more clearly, and that is a beautiful thing! It is easy to trap ourselves in patterns, places, thoughts, etc. and its so great when we find freedom from those things. Sometimes, all it takes is an epiphany like you wrote about. yay! :) you're great!